Leaves Of Grass (whitman)- beautiful, naturey, and sacreligious
Poems of Emily Dickinson- not my bag of chips
Huckleberry Finn (Twain)- challenging themes, one of my favorites
McTeague (Norris)- dark, true, what life without Jesus is like, similar to Dostoyevsky
The Awakening (Chopin)-for anyone who has ever felt their own potential and had it snuffed out
As I Lay Dying (Faulkner)- moving, about family miscommunications and misunderstandings
Their Eyes Were Watching God (Hurston)- the only hope in this one is that the reader changes society
The Bluest Eye (Morrison)- offends audience to emphasize hopelessness
The Joy Luck Club (Tan)- misunderstandings between families
All these books are dark and problematic to the Faith, but these are important issues to confront and to work through personally. Great reading for analyzing the American culture and the human experience in general. If you really read these books there are very sacreligious and offensive, but I think the part of the Faith that they make problematic can be answered. All I know is that I recognize the problems in these books, I feel them, I recognize myself in the characters, but ultimately I come to different conclusions than the authors because the god they talk about is not the God I know. I wish they knew who He really is. We must ask ourselves why these authors have such a bitter taste in their mouths about Christianity? We have everything to so with the problem and the solution.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Couldn't have said it better than Frances R. Havergal...
Take My Life and Let It Be
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee;
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise;
Take my intellect and use
Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee;
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise;
Take my intellect and use
Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee
Saturday, April 17, 2010
280 Boogie
The 280 Boogie is my favorite thing to do in Auburn. (Actually, it's in Waverly, but you know what I mean.) Simply put, it is an outdoor music festival where local vendors sell their products, and people of all ages and from all walks of life come to enjoy some of the best local music you'll ever find. And it's FREE which gets progressively more exciting the closer I get to graduation. The music is a bluegrass/folk/indy/mountain combination, meaning that just about every band has banjos, harmonicas, and vests. Original, rootsy, and raw is the flavor of sound. There are always a few people who end up hoola-hooping, which apparently is some sort of trend for these types of events. The only thing better than the music is the people. Families, old men without their shirts on, college students, local hippies, middle aged bums etc are some of the rustics that literally come out of the woodworks to be at the boogie. Folks spread out blankets, pull out their beers, and sway, clap, sometimes dance to the sounds of originality. It's a place where real people come to express their real selves with an uninhibited freedom that's only evoked with deeply original and colloquial music. These are the days that I'm glad I live in Auburn, Alabama.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
What God Has Been Teaching Me This Week
Something happened this week that I was totally not expecting. Not only was I not expecting it, I expected the complete opposite of what actually happened. It was really difficult. I was caught off guard and was really shaken by it. My first reaction was "What do I do now? Where do I go from here? What s there to live for now?" Then I actually listened to myself and realized how much stock and I put into the situation. I was totally living for this thing and not for God. That's why when it fell apart I felt like my life was over.
In my head I knew that God was in control and that this was part of his plan that is good and perfect. I knew all these things. I knew the promises I had in Christ. What I didn't have was the feelings that go along with this head knowledge. But that was okay. SOmetimes God doesn't give us heart knowledge, just head knowledge. So without "feeling" it, I had to just act upon what I "knew."
Several good things came out of the situation.
1. I realized my idolatry and how easily my heart is captivated by things other than God.
2. I realized how disconnected from reality I was and how much I acted upon what my imaginations and fantasies were rather than what the truth was. I do this a lot.
3. I realized how prideful I have been in this area, and how much humility I need to express in this area.
4. I realized how insecure, self-conscious, FEARFUL I am. More on this later.
5.I realized how closed I am to other people about my emotions and what I am thinking about and feeling. I need to be honest, open, and genuine and willing to take risks. I need vulnerability that is only possible with COMPLETE confidence in the Lord.
6. I opened myself up to a few good friends and feel like we have a better, stronger friendship.
7. Opening up to people about this situation relieved me and made it easier to deal with.
8. I have been praying so much more and really trusting in the Lord. I feel closer to Him now than I have in a long time. This is what Paul means when he said "when I am weak, I am strong."
9. Because I have dealt with this situation well and brought it before the Lord he has blessed me with making the situation a whole lot easier than it could have been.
10. I am now beginning to feel okay about the situation and have a small amount of peace about moving on.
I'm sure I'll keep finding good things about this.
Sometimes I feel like God has screwed me over. Again, this is what I am "feeling," not what I know to be true. But feelings do count for something and should be dealt with not shoved under the rug and denied. I have told God this, to His face. He wants me to be honest with Him. I don't know why this happened or why it happened in the way it did, especially in the timing that it did. I probably never will. But God hasn't fed me to the dogs yet so I can only trust that He is good even when I don't feel it or when I don't understand it. There could have been other times and other ways that it happened, but it didn't happen those ways. There is a reason for this. It is good. I don't know the reason.
There are a few good things about the timing. The shock value made it easy to accept as truth and easy to begin to immediately change how I felt and thought. If I hadn't found out as soon as I did I might still be mislead.
I still hurt inside. It is still hard and will be hard. This situation is one that I will have to deal with a lot in the next month so I am just going to have to push on and rely on God's strength. I really have no idea where to go from here or what to do or what to feel or how to think or how to act. All I know is that God give you just enough light for your next step. That's all he guarentees. Sometimes he graciously provides light for the next few steps. This time he hasn't so I just have to take a step forward in the only light I have and wait for new light.
Some Bible verses that God has spoken to me through:
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God gave us a spirit not of FEAR but of power and love and self-discipline."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Psalm 75:3 "When the earth totters, and all its inhabitants, it is I who keep steady its pillars."
Lamentations 3:22-26 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
Proverbs 31
About Fear and Boldness
I have realized a lot of how I act and what I do and don't do is controlled by my fear. My pastor said that what you fear the most is what controls you. This is so true for me. I am so insecure and afraid of what others think of me that I fail to live in boldness. My number one goal now is to not be intimidated, but to live in the confidence I have in God and to be bold and strong in him.
In my head I knew that God was in control and that this was part of his plan that is good and perfect. I knew all these things. I knew the promises I had in Christ. What I didn't have was the feelings that go along with this head knowledge. But that was okay. SOmetimes God doesn't give us heart knowledge, just head knowledge. So without "feeling" it, I had to just act upon what I "knew."
Several good things came out of the situation.
1. I realized my idolatry and how easily my heart is captivated by things other than God.
2. I realized how disconnected from reality I was and how much I acted upon what my imaginations and fantasies were rather than what the truth was. I do this a lot.
3. I realized how prideful I have been in this area, and how much humility I need to express in this area.
4. I realized how insecure, self-conscious, FEARFUL I am. More on this later.
5.I realized how closed I am to other people about my emotions and what I am thinking about and feeling. I need to be honest, open, and genuine and willing to take risks. I need vulnerability that is only possible with COMPLETE confidence in the Lord.
6. I opened myself up to a few good friends and feel like we have a better, stronger friendship.
7. Opening up to people about this situation relieved me and made it easier to deal with.
8. I have been praying so much more and really trusting in the Lord. I feel closer to Him now than I have in a long time. This is what Paul means when he said "when I am weak, I am strong."
9. Because I have dealt with this situation well and brought it before the Lord he has blessed me with making the situation a whole lot easier than it could have been.
10. I am now beginning to feel okay about the situation and have a small amount of peace about moving on.
I'm sure I'll keep finding good things about this.
Sometimes I feel like God has screwed me over. Again, this is what I am "feeling," not what I know to be true. But feelings do count for something and should be dealt with not shoved under the rug and denied. I have told God this, to His face. He wants me to be honest with Him. I don't know why this happened or why it happened in the way it did, especially in the timing that it did. I probably never will. But God hasn't fed me to the dogs yet so I can only trust that He is good even when I don't feel it or when I don't understand it. There could have been other times and other ways that it happened, but it didn't happen those ways. There is a reason for this. It is good. I don't know the reason.
There are a few good things about the timing. The shock value made it easy to accept as truth and easy to begin to immediately change how I felt and thought. If I hadn't found out as soon as I did I might still be mislead.
I still hurt inside. It is still hard and will be hard. This situation is one that I will have to deal with a lot in the next month so I am just going to have to push on and rely on God's strength. I really have no idea where to go from here or what to do or what to feel or how to think or how to act. All I know is that God give you just enough light for your next step. That's all he guarentees. Sometimes he graciously provides light for the next few steps. This time he hasn't so I just have to take a step forward in the only light I have and wait for new light.
Some Bible verses that God has spoken to me through:
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God gave us a spirit not of FEAR but of power and love and self-discipline."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Psalm 75:3 "When the earth totters, and all its inhabitants, it is I who keep steady its pillars."
Lamentations 3:22-26 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
Proverbs 31
About Fear and Boldness
I have realized a lot of how I act and what I do and don't do is controlled by my fear. My pastor said that what you fear the most is what controls you. This is so true for me. I am so insecure and afraid of what others think of me that I fail to live in boldness. My number one goal now is to not be intimidated, but to live in the confidence I have in God and to be bold and strong in him.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Good Words From William Cowper
"There is A Fountain Filled With Blood"
There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save,
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lies silent in the grave, lies silent in the grave;
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, unworthy though I be,
For me a blood bought free reward, a golden harp for me!
’Tis strung and tuned for endless years, and formed by power divine,
To sound in God the Father’s ears no other name but Thine.
There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save,
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lies silent in the grave, lies silent in the grave;
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, unworthy though I be,
For me a blood bought free reward, a golden harp for me!
’Tis strung and tuned for endless years, and formed by power divine,
To sound in God the Father’s ears no other name but Thine.
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